The Sabbath: To Keep It or to Be Kept by It, Exodus 20:8-11 by Dr. Terry Harman
- Dr. Terry Harman
- Jun 16
- 4 min read
Updated: Jun 20
Exodus 20:8-11 (JPS 1917)
Remember the sabbath day, to keep it holy. Six days shalt thou labour, and do all thy work; but the seventh day is a sabbath unto the LORD thy God, in it thou shalt not do any manner of work, thou, nor thy son, nor thy daughter, nor thy man-servant, nor thy maid-servant, nor thy cattle, nor thy stranger that is within thy gates; for in six days the LORD made heaven and earth, the sea, and all that in them is, and rested on the seventh day; wherefore the LORD blessed the sabbath day, and hallowed it.
A Rule to Obey
For a long time, I understood the fourth commandment, keeping the Sabbath, as a rule. Plain and simple. A clear instruction in scripture. A symbol of our bond with Him? Don’t work. Keep the day special, and maybe fit in some prayers or study. That was how I understood it, without much depth or full observance.
Shabbat in Crown Heights
From May 1 - 4, 2025, I had the opportunity to experience Shabbat in Crown Heights, Brooklyn. It wasn’t a sightseeing trip. It was a full immersion, organized by the Rohr Jewish Learning Institute and the Lubavitch Youth Organization. This wasn’t about watching from the outside. I stepped in, fully, into a way of life where Shabbat isn’t only practiced, but it’s fully embraced.
Entering Sacred Time
I stayed with a warm and hospitable couple who welcomed me into their home for the weekend. To enter this experience, I made a choice: my phone was turned off and out of sight. No digital noise. Just stillness, awareness, presence. For 25 hours, I wasn’t distracted. I was paying attention to the people, the conversations, and the study of Torah.
As the Sun Set
By early afternoon Friday, everything started to slow down. Stores closed early. People walked with purpose. We joined the flow, buying wine and flowers as a gesture of gratitude for our hosts and the guests that would be joining us. Imagine this. Here I was - someone who hasn’t had a drink in 46 years - asking for help choosing wine.
Wine? All I knew was it had to be kosher and not in a box. I didn’t have a clue about the differences between white, red, rosé, and sparkling. But there I was, in a moment both light and strangely meaningful. This would be the best wine I would not taste!. It would be grape juice for me.
Terry and Rabbi Eliezer Zalmanov of Chabad of Northwest Indiana
The Shabbat Meal
Our hosts prepared dinner for fifteen. The table was dressed in white. Two braided challot lay beneath a cover. Kiddush cups stood ready. Around the table were rabbis, medical professionals, business owners, wives, husbands, children, and visitors - people I’d never met who felt, by the end of the night, like family.
The food was amazing, but what stayed with me was the experience at the table. We didn’t just eat. We talked. We sang. We listened. Torah was discussed - it came alive. It brought people closer.
Saturday Morning
We walked to 770, the iconic synagogue. I was nervous - would I stand out? Could I follow the prayers? I didn’t need to worry. A kind man stood next to me and guided me through the siddur. At the end, he asked, “Have you laid tefillin today?” Then he offered help with tefillin. What I thought might isolate me ended up connecting me more deeply.
Afternoon Reflections
Back at our hosts' home, there was more food, laughter, and a little rest. Later, back to the conference center for a study group gathered around Leviticus chapter 14 - the leper's purification ritual. We discussed the healing, the ritual, and how community helps restore someone’s dignity.
After that, another trip to a small synagogue in Crown Heights. It was time for the farbrengen. It’s hard to translate - part gathering, part storytelling, part soulful conversation over food and wine. The stories flowed freely. So did the wine, but I stayed with the food. No need to break a decades-long sobriety in one night and become a legend-making story for farbrengens to come! Then it was back to the conference center for Havdalah.
Havdalah: The Close of Shabbat
As Shabbat ended, we joined in the Havdalah ceremony. The braided candle, the flickering of the flame, the spices, the blessing over wine - it all marked the shift from sacred time back to the everyday. But something lingered: a quiet longing, a sweetness in having been wrapped in something whole.
What Shabbat Means Now
Ahad Ha’am once said, “More than Jews have kept Shabbat, Shabbat has kept the Jews.” I felt the truth of that. Shabbat isn't just a pause - it's a pulse. A rhythm that holds the Jewish people together, gives space for the soul, and keeps Jewish identity alive.
I used to see the Sabbath as a rule. A rule only. A rule I did not observe fully. My understanding changed because of the experience at Shabbat in Crown Heights. Now I understand that keeping the Sabbath is not just a rule that must be kept, but a practice that keeps the Jewish community. It gives shape to time, sets apart the time, depth to community building and life, and room for the sacred.
As Dennis Prager once said, “The punishment for missing Shabbat is missing that Shabbat.” That line hits differently now. It’s not about fire or guilt. It’s about missing a moment that won’t come again. Something beautiful, simply… absent.
After Crown Heights, the Sabbath isn’t just a rule. It’s a gift. Not about restrictions, but restoration. Not just what God asks from me, but what He offers to you and me. And now, I understand: more than I was keeping the Sabbath in the Heights - the Sabbath was keeping me. The community modeled the way. And I can’t wait to be kept again.
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